By Mike Tireman, Chapter Chair for Chisholm Trail Middle School

Let’s rewind to the start of summer… It was May 11th and the kids at Chisholm Trail Middle School wanted to be done with the school year. I get it… We fathers are excited for summer too! That means baseball games, summer vacations, BBQs, pool parties, you name it. But our kids have a few weeks left. How can we help them to finish the year strong?

Fried Dough, Fist Bumps, and positive encouragement.

Daylight Donuts in West Olathe (K-7 & Santa Fe) was gracious enough to supply 560 doughnuts to help brighten our kid’s day! (For those of you who are math people, that’s almost 47 dozen!) LET’S GOOOOO!!!! We couldn’t wait.

We had 12 dads show up to not only pass out doughnuts, but to let our kids know that we are here, and we believe in them! We’ve got you! I can’t be more grateful to not only the dads that were there, but to those who donated their money, or just passed on the information about the event. YOU ROCK AND I APPRECIATE YOU!

The day initially started with me showing up at the wrong Daylight Donut store. WHOOPS!

No worries, I planned accordingly for Dad Mishaps (even we make mistakes sometimes. It’s RARE, but we do). We got the doughnuts and arrived at Chisholm Trail with the goods just in time. Dads were already there. Whew! This was going to be great! And thanks to Mike Davisson (Olathe District Father’s Club District Chair) and Brody Dorland (Olathe South incoming Father’s Club Chair) for getting things rolling as I was en route.

We got the tables set up, music pumping, and both school entries staffed with dads, fists ready to bump, and doughnuts ready to distribute. But one thing we didn’t plan for, THE RAIN! Or did we?!?!?! YOU’RE DARN RIGHT WE DID! We had umbrellas to help keep the kids dry and walked them right up to the yummy deliciousness that is Daylight Donuts as dry as we could keep them!

The day wrapped up when the final bell rang for the kids to get to their classes, and we handed out our last doughnuts right about the same time. It was perfect planning and a great day!

Oh, and one last thing… Photo Op!!! Bring it in dads! Let’s see those pearly whites!

Well, not quite the last thing.

I had to let everything dry out in my garage. No need for that nastiness when I open everything back up! (This is a public service announcement for other chapter chairs.)

To see the kids’ smiles, their attitudes, their gratitude, their demeanor change right before our eyes… That’s IT! If we can be a catalyst for positivity in our community by being present for our kids, count me in! We received incredible feedback from not only our kids, but also parents, teachers, and members of our community. It was wonderful.

Dads… thank you! Know that our kids appreciate you being there for them! If we changed the trajectory of a day for just one of our kids, we did our job! I’ve talked with kids personally that want you to know they really enjoyed you being there for them. (With delicious fried dough in their bellies). Oh yeah!

To Daylight Donuts in West Olathe, we appreciate you! Thank you for working with us to bring beautiful doughnuts to our kids at a reasonable price. You are amazing!

To Rick Sola and Chisholm Trail, thank you for giving us the space and flexibility to be on site and allow us to bring our mission to the kids. It has been an amazing experience so far and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for our partnership together.

To any dads who want to be a part of this awesome club, come on in! With resolve, humility, and love, our mission is to be a catalyst for positive influence around the world. If that sounds like that’s pretty cool to be a part of, guess what… IT IS! I love it and can’t wait for our next opportunity at the Father’s Club Chisholm Trail Middle School Chapter!

We’ll see you on the flip flop!! DUECES!!!

By Clay Norkey and Kevin Saylan, Chair and Vice-Chair, Blue Valley West Father’s Club

The Blue Valley West Father’s Club launches hot dogs into the student section at football games. We’ve thrown T-shirts into the crowd at student assemblies, and  at Class Day 2023, we gave away $2,500 in cold, hard cash!

The BV West Chapter developed a scholarship program last school year for the first time in Father’s Club history. We handed out five scholarships based on essays our applicants wrote on mental health. They were humbling, and they were inspiring.

Our students shared stories of endurance, persevering through mental-health struggles, and coping through the aftermath of suicide. They wrote about bullying, social-media depression, and anxiety. We read about the mental-health struggles faced by first-generation immigrants, and we were touched by heartfelt accounts of learning to live with diagnoses like obsessive-compulsive disorder.

The most inspiring essays were the accounts of how students turned battles into victories, overcame adversity and were better for it, took lessons learned and shared then with their peers, and felt the need to give back.

Our young people have a deep desire to help others:

From a student who plans to be an athletic coach:

I know from my experiences in sports and life that battles aren’t solely physical, but equally mental. I want to be there for my players as [certain adults] were for me, to guide and help them with their struggles. My dream is to be an advocate for teens and help them learn [that] it’s okay to talk about difficulties in life and to seek help.

From a senior who was in crisis:

Because of the huge stigma that surrounds mental health, it took me a very long time to reach out to anyone about how I was feeling. I felt desperate, hopeless, and weak. But I have found that people are much more willing to help you than you think they are.

Those connections also serve as a lifeboat. I hope that the people I try to help choose to provide support to others, which creates a ripple effect that will work to tear down the stigma around mental health.

What is going to help break it down is not one big act, but rather many small acts and meaningful connections. Little by little, we will all work together to help each other through our seemingly insurmountable issues.

From a student describing the mental-health struggles of a first-generation American family:

The culture from which my parents were raised in demanded consistent perfection; mental health was disregarded, and struggles regarding the matter were pathologized. I’m proud to say I was able to contribute to [my mom] un-learning the harshness of this culture, and accepting one where it’s [okay] to struggle and seek help. I’m proud to tell this story and to have told this story to hundreds of people, in hope of de-stigmatizing mental health for those who grew up in orthodox cultures that disregarded the realness of mental health.

From a senior who reminds us that the tragedy of suicide affects countless others:

My first real experience with mental health and the long-term effects of it became very clear to me when my friend… committed suicide. It was very traumatic. I was unaware of how deeply affected he was. I knew he had struggled with depression for many years from being bullied, but I don’t think I understood how much it affected him.

It was during that time that we were made aware that a family member was struggling with depression and anxiety and had contemplated suicide. None of us knew how badly they struggled.

Knowing what I know now, I try to make a conscious effort every day to be a good friend and to reach out to people who might be struggling. I hope to someday share my passions with others and give kids a place to feel safe and express themselves.

And from a student who, through overcoming their own challenges, feels the need to give back:

A lot of people think that depression is just a period of being sad, but the feeling of being depressed is actually the feeling of being empty and hopeless.

I was kicked out of my friend group that I had been a part of for almost 10 years. I was bullied. I was shunned, made fun of, and posted on social media [in a bad way].

The staff at West and my family were all very supportive and I was lucky enough to come across two kind girls who asked me out to dinner one night. These are now my two best friends.

Mental health has had a huge impact on my life because it has shown me that I can overcome all kinds of things in life. And dealing with depression has helped me have empathy. I enjoy listening to people and having the ability to help people when I can. I am wanting to pursue a degree in secondary math education and counseling, because of all the experiences I have gone through during high school.

Five Scholarship Winners

Our five scholarship winners are certainly advocates and allies in their own unique ways. Their willingness to share their stories with us will help many others. They have helped fulfill the program’s two-pronged purpose. First, they have helped others, increased awareness of mental-health issues and resources, and helped reduce stigmas associated with mental-health issues. Second, we are providing educational financial assistance and recognition to students who have shared their personal stories and demonstrated a commitment and a future desire to help improve mental-health issues in their community.

This program fits squarely within the Father’s Club mission.

Congratulations again to our two honorable-mention award recipients ($250), Lillie Large and Ty Brechler; our Runners Up ($500), Sai Pradhan and Amanda Acheson; and our Father’s Club Top Scholarship winner ($1,000), Cooper Marquette. Although the scholarship may also be used for vocational or technical schools or programs, apprenticeship expenses, or other programs, all five will be attending universities across the country: Ole Miss, University of Arkansas, University of Pennsylvania, University of Nebraska—Lincoln, and K-State. We thank them for sharing their stories and encourage them to keep making a difference in the lives of others.

For more information about the scholarship program, please contact Clay Norkey, Chairman of the Blue Valley West Father’s Club, at clay.norkey@fathersclub.org.

By Mike Davisson, Father’s Club Regional Director & Board Member

Chick-fil-A chicken biscuit handouts are one of those days that the students inquire about throughout the year and look forward to when the days arrive. Teachers and Administrators say that the mood in the school is noticeably different and the students seem to be more attentive; better learners and score better on their tests.

Finals…

We also know that Finals can be daunting, overwhelming, create stress, anxiety and more.

The Olathe East Father’s Club wanted to do our part to reduce those feelings by starting the morning off on a positive note and help create the right environment for test taking by doing our Feast B4 Finals chicken biscuit handout. Not only do the students get greeted with a chicken biscuit, but also with encouraging words and fist bumps.

A Visible Reaction

There is something special about seeing the eyes and posture of a student change to joy when they see large groups of dads; receive fist pumps; hear encouraging words for the day AND receive a little something special to eat.

As a dad, I can tell you it is one of the best days of the year and is something I would encourage every parent to ask their kids about. I challenge all dads to be intentional about finding time to join us for one of these events and experience it for yourself.

Thanks to Chick-fil-A Olathe for their partnership and thanks to all the dads that continue to show up and make these events so successful.

We received a lot of positive feedback on the blog/video we created called “What does a daughter need from her father?” And we wanted to follow up with another video made from submissions from some of our sons. We asked them to create a quick video answering the question: What does a son need from his father? We put together three submissions in this video. Our hope is that these messages will inspire you as you show up for your sons.

Here are some highlights:

Role Model

What does a dad mean to me? Well, I think a dad is simply a role model. And most times they’re a teacher for you in your life, and they’re a strong male figure in your life, someone you look up to and someone you model your life after. And a dad shows you how to be a gentleman, shows you how to treat people with respect. And he shows you how to also respect women and how to love your wife unconditionally no matter what happens. And he shows you how to be successful in life. He shows you the ins and outs of life, and he shows you how to work hard.

Forgiveness

He understands when you make a mistake and uses it as a learning opportunity because they were once in our shoes as well. And I also think a dad is someone who will show you how to be the man that God wants you to be. And a dad is someone that no matter what, they have their back and they love you. And a dad is someone who is present all the time and he’s there for your highest highs and your lowest lows.

Discipline

Sons need their fathers to be someone that they can look up to and someone that sets a good example of what it means to be a man. And they need their fathers to teach them discipline and humility. And most importantly, they need their fathers to disciple them and to establish a relationship with Jesus, to talk about what boys need from their fathers. And for you to always be able to go to your father and just talk to him, no matter what the situation is. You want to know that he’ll always be there for you, just somebody that teaches you about life. And he’s always there by your side no matter what.