March 4, 2022: A Second Chance to Show Up

Written by Kaleb Stoppel. Kaleb is a husband, father of two boys, former educator and school administrator, and financial advisor in the Johnson County, Kansas area. He helped establish the Summit Trail Middle School Father’s Club chapter in Olathe and is the author of One Step at a Time: Surviving a School Shooting, Rebuilding My Life, and Rediscovering What Matters Most.

Rediscovering what matters most through fatherhood and Father’s Club

I still remember one of my first experiences with Father’s Club while serving as an assistant principal and athletic director at Olathe East High School. I didn’t know much about the organization at the time, but I remember looking out my office window before school one morning and seeing a group of dads gathered outside the entrances. They were handing out free Chick-fil-A breakfast sandwiches to every student who wanted one, along with fist bumps and smiles on their faces as students made their way into the building. It was such a simple gesture, but there was something special about seeing those dads take time out of their mornings just to show up and make the start of someone else’s day a little brighter.

At the time, I appreciated what they were doing, but I couldn’t have imagined just how meaningful their presence would become. What began as a group of dads offering breakfast sandwiches, smiles, and encouragement on an ordinary school morning would take on an entirely different significance in the wake of one of the most frightening and traumatic events in Olathe East’s history.

Some Background

My career began as a high school math teacher who also coached three sports, one during each athletic season. As a former college athlete, I loved sports, but what meant the most to me was the opportunity to mentor young people, build relationships, and help students navigate the challenges and successes that came with growing up. I wasn’t married or a father at the time, and I willingly dedicated much of my personal time to coaching because I genuinely loved what I was doing.

Eventually, I married my wife, who is also a teacher. That probably wasn’t a coincidence, considering our shared passion for education and serving others. As we began building our life together, I pursued my dream of becoming a school administrator, completing my master’s degree and eventually my doctorate. Our first son was born while I was finishing my doctoral studies, and although those years involved plenty of sacrifices, we believed we were working toward something meaningful for our family.

When I became a school administrator, the responsibilities continued to grow. There were many mornings when I arrived at school before 5:00 a.m. and evenings when I didn’t leave until after 10:00 p.m., often after hosting an athletic event. I tried to balance everything by finding creative ways to include my family in my work. Sometimes my wife and boys would join me at school sporting events. Other times, we’d stop by the school after church on a Sunday afternoon, play together in the gym, and then I’d stay behind to work for a few more hours.

At the time, I thought I was making everything fit. I was serving students, supporting my family financially, and finding ways to spend time together. But looking back, I’ve realized that I had gradually built my life around my work and was often asking my family to fit into whatever time remained. I was showing up for so many people, yet I wasn’t always giving my wife and children the presence they deserved. It’s a difficult realization, especially when you know your intentions were good.

March 4, 2022

On March 4, 2022, while serving as an assistant principal and athletic director at Olathe East High School, a student brought a gun to school. I was shot while protecting others when I tackled and disarmed the student. That experience changed my life and began a long journey of healing, reflection, and rebuilding. Along the way, I found myself asking questions I hadn’t spent enough time considering. What matters most? What kind of husband and father do I want to be? And if I hadn’t made it home that day, what would my children remember about the time we shared?

The following Monday, after the shooting, as students and staff returned to a school community forever changed by what had happened, Father’s Club answered the call in an extraordinary way.

While I was home beginning my own journey of healing, the Olathe East Father’s Club recognized that our school community needed support and rallied chapters from across the Kansas City area. Together, 84 dads showed up with 2,500 donuts and one shared purpose: to remind everyone at Olathe East, especially the students, that they were loved, supported, and not alone as they navigated the immediate aftermath of such a traumatic event. That same spirit of unity and support was reflected throughout the community, including in a special Olathe East LOVE design that became a symbol of solidarity and appeared on hundreds of T-shirts. They couldn’t take away the fear, sadness, or uncertainty of what had happened just days earlier. But they could be there. And they were.

I didn’t learn the full story of what Father’s Club had done until later, but when I did, it left a lasting impression on me. I thought back to that morning when I had watched a group of dads outside my office window, handing out breakfast sandwiches and greeting students with fist bumps. What I had initially seen as a simple act of kindness was part of something much bigger. Father’s Club wasn’t just showing up when things were going well. These dads were also willing to show up when a school community needed them most. Looking back, I’m not surprised in the slightest that I’ve found my way back to Father’s Club, this time as a dad who wants to be part of that same meaningful work. There’s something special about having the opportunity to continue impacting students through service and simply showing up, while also being more intentional about showing up for my own children.

As I continued navigating my own journey of healing, I also began reflecting more deeply on the life I had been living and what mattered most. I remain grateful for the students, families, and colleagues I had the privilege of serving throughout my career in education. But I’ve also had to acknowledge that no paycheck, professional accomplishment, or heartfelt thank-you note could ever replace the moments I missed with my own family. I had spent years believing that working hard and providing for them were among the greatest ways I could show my love. Those things still matter, but I’ve learned they can’t replace simply being present.

Today, my boys are 12 and 9 years old, and I’ve transitioned into a new career as a financial advisor. Life still comes with responsibilities, deadlines, and the need to provide for my family. I still get distracted and have days when I don’t get it right. But I’m trying to be more intentional about where I invest my time and energy. My second chance hasn’t been about becoming a perfect father. It’s been about recognizing that I have an opportunity, every day, to show up differently.

That brings me back to Father’s Club.

Summit Trail Middle School

This year, my oldest son started sixth grade at Summit Trail Middle School in Olathe, and my youngest will join him there in two years. When the opportunity came to work alongside other dads to establish a Father’s Club chapter at Summit Trail, I was excited about the chance to continue serving a school community, but this time through a different lens: as a dad. I wanted to be part of something that would bring dads together, strengthen relationships, and create more opportunities for us to show up for our kids and the entire school community. After years of serving students as an educator, there’s something especially meaningful about getting to do that work alongside other fathers, with my own children at the heart of why I’m showing up.

One of the things I appreciate about Father’s Club is that it makes showing up feel possible. It isn’t about having all the answers or finding endless hours in an already busy schedule. It’s about dads encouraging one another, supporting their schools, and finding simple ways to connect with kids and their communities. Sometimes that might mean greeting students with a fist bump on a Friday morning, helping with a school activity, or simply getting to know another dad. Having spent years working in schools, I’ve seen how much those seemingly small interactions can mean to a student.

I know there are dads who want to be more involved but aren’t sure where to begin. Maybe work keeps you busy, your children are getting older, or you’re struggling to find the time and energy to do everything you’d like. I’ve been there, and in many ways, I’m still figuring it out myself. That’s part of what makes Father’s Club meaningful to me. It’s an opportunity to take the next step alongside other dads who are trying to do the same.

The Second Chance

I was given a second chance at life on March 4, 2022, but I’ve come to believe that we don’t have to experience something tragic to begin looking at our lives differently. We can choose to be more intentional today, even if that means starting small. For me, Father’s Club is one way I’m choosing to do that.

Some day, our kids won’t be kids anymore. The school years will pass, the games will end, and the opportunities to be part of their everyday lives will look different. I can’t get back the moments I’ve missed, but I can make the most of those still ahead.

Our kids don’t need us to be perfect. They need us to be present. And sometimes, all it takes is deciding to show up.

Next Steps

If you’ve been thinking about getting involved at your kid’s school, consider this your invitation. You don’t need a special skill set or a ton of free time. You just need to show up.

• Join a club: Find or start a Father’s Club chapter at fathersclub.org/join.
• See where we are: Browse our chapters at fathersclub.org/chapters.
• Support the mission: Help us reach more schools at fathersclub.org/donate.