Coffee and Conversation Strengthens Father’s Club Chapters

By Robert Mitchell, Chapter Co-Chair at California Trail Middle School for Father’s Club

In September of 2024, our California Trail Middle School Father’s club chapter had a standing Monday, once a month meeting for Monday night football and an adult beverage at a local bar. We started this with the hope of engaging men outside of the school walls and to develop deeper relationships with each other. Within two months, the attendance dropped to two or three men. It was more like a date night than a group gathering. As a result, we decided instead to start meeting for coffee in the morning to start our days.

In January of 2025, we started meeting on the first and third Wednesday of each month for coffee and conversation. This is a standing date, time and location. A core group of 5-6 guys started coming. We extended the invitation to all the fathers that have expressed interest in our California Trail Middle School chapter. And now, we have up to 11 men come to our gatherings!

Coffee Agenda

We start our meetings with chapter business, which lasts about 15 minutes. Then, we begin to catch up on each others lives and what has been happening since our last get together.

Steven Richmond, former CT Chapter Chair, often asks something like, “What’s the best thing that has happened to you this week?” We would discuss our trials of being husbands, fathers and all the other roles that we fill. At times we would learn from each other, and at times it would be general conversation. But we continued to consistently meet twice per month through the school year and even into and through the summer.

One Wednesday morning this summer I asked the group, “What is the most difficult time period of your life?” I thought we would get 1 or 2 to be vulnerable and share with the group.  Surprisingly, all 7 DADS in attendance were transparent and shared personal stories.

We had one father share that he had survived cancer! We had another father share his struggles with being out of work and the concerns about not having an income. I truly think you don’t know someone deeply until you know their fears and trials. Our group still muddles in the small talk of how the Chiefs are doing, or where someone is going on their next vacation. Most importantly, we get to the real conversations that break down barriers.

Special Guest: Mike Wiley

We invited California Trail Middle School Principal, Mike Wiley to have coffee with us this summer.

Principal Wiley said he “appreciates fathers that are not only committed to our building (chapter) but committed to supporting each other in daily struggles.” He continued by stating, “For me, this is a reminder to be grateful for the blessings I have in my personal life, and it started with the Father’s Club connection through my professional life.”

We have a great group of men in our chapter. We all have children at California Trail. Our children know each other. They are acquaintances. But our group of men are truly friends and our children’s ties, or lack of ties does not define our relationships. We know that we have to build a solid foundation together as men to be our most effective when going to the school to support our kids.