How many days do you get with your children?

How many days do you get with your children?

By Mike Davisson, Executive Director/Olathe Regional Director/Board Member for Father’s Club

How many days do you get with your children?

If you assume you get to be a part of your KID’S lives every day for the first 18 years of your life, then you would be looking at about 6,574 days. Or 936 weeks. Or a total of 940 Saturdays. That seems like a lot of days. However, when you break it down, it’s scary how many of these days we take for granted.

If you assume you’re part of every birthday, holiday, first day of school, school concert, etc. for all 18 years of their life, this will equate to less than 365 of those 6,574 available days. That represents about 5% of your child’s life.

What are you doing with the other days?

The question then becomes, what are you doing with all the other days? Many of us will go to our child’s ballgames, dance recitals, cheer competitions, musicals, lake weekends, vacations and more. Yet, even if that represented one day per week, every week of the year, from age 5 to 18, you would still only add an additional 10% of time with your KIDS.

I know these are somewhat arbitrary numbers, but they’re meant to highlight that we have a limited amount of time with our KIDS, yet many of us could do a better job of being intentional with the quality and quantity of time we have with them.

I often ask DADS, if you were diagnosed with 2 months to live, what would you immediately begin doing differently? My follow up question is, why wait?

Middle Schools

It is with these thoughts and questions in mind that Father’s Club has pivoted from being solely in high school chapters to launching into middle schools as well. We have done so with 4 middle schools in Olathe and have seen great success. We’ve been welcomed with open arms from administration and students alike. Beginning in the next school year, we’ve taken steps to add additional Olathe middle schools while taking initial steps to also launch a few more chapters in Blue Valley and North Kansas City middle schools.

We are also increasing the number of high schools in the Kansas City Metro area as well. Also, we are in discussions to move beyond the KC Metro this coming year or next.

Statistics tell us that involved DADS make a difference. KIDS tell us that they want their DADS to show up. Wives, administrators, and teachers tell us that they wish more DADS would step up.

It is time for us as DADS to look at our priorities as if we only had 2 months to live and start living accordingly. Please join us in the lives of our KIDS in middle schools and high schools by simply being present every day possible. We have a limited number of days and we don’t want to have any regrets with how we used them.

Ready to step up?

First, join so that you can start hearing more about what is going on. Next, get involved with an existing Father’s Club chapter. If you don’t see your high school or middle school listed, please contact me to discuss the opportunity to start one at your school.

This isn’t about looking to the past with a guilty conscience – it’s about looking forward to the opportunities in front of us right now.

Right here. Right now. YOU matter.

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Is Kindness Uncommon? Caught in Kindness Challenge at California Trail Middle School

By Steven Richmond

Caught in Kindness Challenge at California Trail Middle SchoolMiddle school can be rough. In addition to just growing up, there are a lot of other things going on including family expectations, social challenges, stepped-up academics, and extra curricular activities. It takes a lot to keep things balanced. All too often we are so busy we either don’t slow down long enough to recognize kindness, or we intend to say thank you but simply forget. We all do it and our kids do it too.

Overthinking Kindness

Ross Pomeroy, editor for RealClearScience, believes that random acts of kindness are rare for one simple and surprising reason. We overthink being kind.

Unsolicited acts of kindness generally boost the well being of both givers and receivers, so why do we not see acts of kindness performed more often? Research suggests that people are afraid their act of kindness will be misinterpreted. People also undervalue how good an act of kindness will make the receiver feel. If you want to perform an act of kindness for someone, don’t overthink it. Just do it! In most cases, people underestimate the positive effects of a kind act.

Kindness starts with being kind to yourself.

Caught in Kindness Challenge at California Trail Middle SchoolKindness is more than behavior. The art of kindness involves harboring a spirit of helpfulness, being generous and considerate, and doing so without expecting anything in return. Rather than viewing it exclusively as an action, think of kindness as a quality of being you can cultivate. Giving kindness often is simple, free and even has health benefits! Kindness is good for the body and good for the mind.

Why do some people feel uncomfortable when someone is nice to them?

Many people feel uncomfortable when someone is nice to them because of low self-esteem. People who struggle with self-esteem issues often have difficulty believing they are worthy of love, affection, and admiration from others, much less kindness. Before you can accept kindness from others, don’t forget to be kind to yourself.

What started the Caught in Kindness challenge?

A Harvard study found that being kind or actively observing kindness around us boosted happiness. We feel happier when we act in service to others.

Listening to my son and his friends talk about how other students talk to each other in the halls and cafeteria was surprising. What was once considered disrespectful has turned into: What? Can’t you take a joke? Racially injected speech is not unusual, and being kind to others is often made fun of.

February 17th was National Random Acts of Kindness day, so what better time to be intentional and spotlight kindness?

Caught in Kindness Challenge at California Trail Middle School Caught in Kindness Challenge at California Trail Middle School

Father’s Club, in conjunction with California Trail Middle School, agreed to challenge the students to pay attention and recognize 2,000 random acts of kindness during the week of February 20th. Why? Because “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” We become kinder with practice.

We partnered with a local printer who provided 3,000 Caught in Kindness Cards and a variety of posters emphasizing different characteristics of kindness and affirmations like;

Respect – treating people, places, and things with kindness
Inclusiveness – including others, inviting people in, and welcoming others with open arms.
Responsibility – being reliable to do the things that are expected or required of you
Caring – feeling and showing concern for others
Integrity – acting in a way you know to be right and read in all situations
Courage – being brave when facing new or difficult circumstances

How did the Challenge Go?

Caught in Kindness Challenge at California Trail Middle SchoolWe placed posters throughout the hallways and common areas. Each day of the challenge, a number of dads showed up over lunch to hand out Caught in Kindness cards, talk to the students about kindness, encourage them to slow down, peel away from their devices, and recognize the kindness around them.

The following Wednesday, another group of dads had a blast handing out Rice Krispy Treats, Fruit by the Foot, Pop Smart, and other treats to applaud the students in recognizing over 1,300 acts of kindness. Who would have thought that Peeps and Pop Tarts were so popular!

Choose Kindness

While we do not have control over others, we have control over ourselves. Take a moment to pause, be your best self and Make Kindness Common.

Words matter be kind
You are brave
You are worth it
You are loved
You are one of a kind
You are awesome
You are smart
You are valued
You are strong
Be patient
Give grace
Find the good
Be the good

Resources

Practice the art of kindness-the mayo clinic.
https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/the-art-of-kindness

The heart and science of kindness
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-heart-and-science-of-kindness-2019041816447

Discover Gratitude
https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/wellness/gratitude

Kickstart Kindness
https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/wellness/kindness

Random Acts of Kindness
https://www.randomactsofkindness.org

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The Father’s Club and Screen Sanity Partnership

By Mike Davisson, Executive Director/Olathe Regional Director/Board Member for Father’s Club

In 2018, a local non-profit called Screen Sanity was launched. They believed there was a direct correlation between unchecked, unhealthy technology use and the mental health side effects that were affecting many families. Additionally, they recognize that we are the first generation of parents with digital native children, yet are also parents with no parental experience to lean into from prior generations.

With that in mind, they set out to educate and provide practical guidance to parents on how to maximize the benefits of technology while minimizing the harmful side effects.

2018 was also the year in which the Father’s Club was founded.

Father’s Club founders were confronted with the reality that DADS being intentionally involved with their KIDS was more critical than ever. The landscape with involved DADS versus without involved DADS had stark differences. We were beginning to lose a generation of KIDS being influenced by technology and outside influences instead of parents.

Five years later, Mental Health & Wellness and Suicide Prevention are two of the areas in which we focus additional efforts. Education and Resources around technology and how it is impacting our children is necessary if we are going to be the key drivers in raising our children to the best of our abilities.

The Father's Club and Screen Sanity Partnership

The Screen Sanity Partnership

It is with these separate, yet common goals, that Screen Sanity partnered with Father’s Club and allows us to facilitate their training to help parents become better educated about technology. Screen Sanity provides Tips, Tricks and Practical Next Steps to help navigate the digital world.

The Father's Club and Screen Sanity PartnershipThese presentations help educate parents, provide resources, share basic practices, and create an environment of open dialogue among parents who attend. California Trail Middle School Principal, Mike Wiley, commented that he thought the presentation was a great connection for all the parents about how to navigate the digital world with their kids. Additionally, many parents thanked us for taking the time to present this information and felt they were more informed on how to navigate digital conversations while others were walking away with some best practices on how to intentionally do so.

This new partnership allowed Father’s Club to facilitate Screen Sanity trainings at Chisholm Traill Middle School and California Trail Middle School. We also have plans to host additional training by the end of the school year. You can check out our upcoming events to find an opportunity to attend. (You are welcome to attend any upcoming events that are and will be scheduled.)

Want to Learn More? Next steps?

To learn more about Screen Sanity, please go to www.screensanity.org.

If you are interested in having a Screen Sanity presentation brought to your school or are interested in learning more about Father’s Club, please visit www.fathersclub.org. You can JOIN Father’s Club by clicking STEP ONE and filling out the form. You can also click the CONTACT button and fill out the form to either request us to schedule Screen Sanity training at your school or discuss next steps in launching a chapter at your school if one is not already established.

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Improving Mental Health for Olathe South Dads

Improving Mental Health for Olathe South Dads

By Brody Dorland – Chapter Chair of Olathe South Father’s Club

Let me start by saying that this post may be a bit “heavier” than others you may have read on the Father’s Club blog, but the epidemic of poor mental health in our communities can’t be taken lightly. A quick review of recent statistics tells a shocking tale. Houston, we have a problem.

But let me back up… The Father’s Club organization was originally conceived at Blue Valley High School as a result of yet another student suicide, one of 15 that had taken place within Johnson County schools in the 2017/18 school year.

A group of concerned fathers came together to take action. Since then, the organization has grown to over 25 school chapters, and improving the mental well-being of our kids, FC members, and local communities remains a core objective.

Improving Mental Health for Olathe South Dads

Olathe South Father’s Club Mental Health Training – Feb. 7th, 2024

With suicide being the second leading cause of death for teens in Kansas, I’m proud to be a part of an organization that is putting so much attention on our kids’ well-being. But, our kids aren’t the only ones who are struggling.

A healthy portion of Father’s Club’s new Mental Health & Well-Being Training series focuses on the other high-risk segment of our communities, middle-aged men. Men, in general, take their lives in far greater numbers than women.

Source: CDC Suicide Data & Statistics

Source: CDC Suicide Data & Statistics

And when broken down by other attributes like age and ethnicity, the picture is even more grim for men aged 45 to 54, the highest risk age group.

The Stigma

Unless you’re living under a rock, it’s obvious that awareness of the topic of mental health, and the effort to destigmatize talking about it, has increased dramatically over the last decade. But that doesn’t mean the male population at large is going to change their hardwiring overnight.

We’ve largely been conditioned to be the strong, stoic providers that don’t want to burden our families with our day-to-day traumas. And that’s “traumas” with a little “t”, not a big “T”. Big traumatic events have their obvious impacts on anyone who has experienced them. But “little t” traumas often go undiscussed and can build into a burden that gets too heavy for many middle-aged men to handle.

This situation was really the key focus of our Olathe South Father’s Club Mental Health Training event held on Feb. 7th, 2024.

Improving Mental Health for Olathe South Dads

Todd Milner, Director of Mental Health and Wellness/Board Member

A Few Simple Tools

Since we’re men, we like things simple, and we like tools. Here are three simple tools that were my key takeaways from the training.

  1. Make time to reach out to and engage with the people that are important to you. This obviously includes family, but friends, colleagues, and community members should also be in the mix.
  2. Don’t just ask the typical, “How are you doing?” – Ask it a second time… “How are you REALLY doing?” – This second ask has a jarring way of opening people up to a much deeper conversation about what’s REALLY going on in their world. It also subtly communicates your intentionality, that you really care and are interested in listening.
  3. Don’t hesitate to ask the big question – There will likely come a time when you’re dealing with someone who is obviously struggling. We, as men, need to be prepared to ask, “Have you ever thought about hurting yourself, or someone else?”

Asking this question to someone who is down might be tough. That’s the stigma talking. We need to destigmatize the fear or uneasiness of asking that question, especially when your spidey sense is telling you something is off with someone you care about.

Awareness to Action

I’ll close with this… FC Mental Health trainers Todd Milner and Darrin Wolff did a great job of building our awareness of the severity of the problem and walking us through the fundamentals of QPR. But some of the most impactful parts of our training came from our attendees opening up with stories of things they’ve dealt with in the past, or are currently facing. One such story from trainer Darrin Wolff really hit home.

Improving Mental Health for Olathe South Dads

Darrin Wolff, Mental Health and Wellness Trainer/Board Member

It started with a phone call to a business colleague. Coincidentally, Darrin had just completed his QPR certification days prior. Over the phone, Darrin could tell that his colleague was down and really struggling with something. His recent training gave Darrin the awareness to ask THE question in that moment, despite the natural fear and hesitation. Turns out, his colleague had thought about taking his life just hours before Darrin’s call.

Ditch the stigma. Get over your uneasiness. The lives of those around you are more important than your hesitation, embarrassment, or fear of asking an important question.

To sign up for one of these classes, visit the Father’s Club Events page and find a Mental Health + Wellness class that works with your schedule. To attend you will need to register and a donation of $40 would help defray the cost of the program, but is not required.

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Mission Trail Middle School Dads Stepping up and Stepping In

 

Mission Trail Middle School Dads Stepping up and Stepping In

By Jim Bradford, Chapter Co-Chair at Mission Trail Middle School for Father’s Club

In the world of education, things happen. Whether it’s a last-minute transfer, a mid-year move or an end-of-the year promotion. But sometimes those things happen at the worst times. And they come out of nowhere.

Such was the case at Mission Trail Middle School last December when their principal resigned.

It was a tough time for students, teachers and administrators alike. Change is always tough especially for middle school students. They’re creatures of habit – as most students are – but those making the transition from elementary school and on the cusp of high school can be particularly vulnerable.

The Mission Trail Middle School Chapter of Father’s Club knew this fact and decided to step up and step in. Just a few days after the news came down that the principal had resigned, we made sure that the students knew the dads had their back and were there for them.

While just a couple of months old, the Fist Bump Fridays had become very popular at Mission Trail, so we decided to help the transitioning administration out by showing up for a special fist bump welcome for each of the final six days left in the first semester.

Mission Trail Middle School Dads Stepping up and Stepping In Mission Trail Middle School Dads Stepping up and Stepping In Mission Trail Middle School Dads Stepping up and Stepping In

We manned the front and back doors, ready to welcome each and every student for the entire week – and then some. We even added a very special Fist Bump Friday where we were handing out candy canes to the students on the final Friday of the semester. Santa’s little helpers were a huge hit.

And so were the other days the dads welcomed students. They didn’t have to be there. The Mission Trail administration was on the ball – as always – and had everything under control, but the Mission Trail Father’s Club just wanted to be there to help.

They stepped up and stepped in when the Timberwolf family needed them most!

Mission Trail Middle School Dads Stepping up and Stepping In

  • To get involved with a Father’s Club chapter at your school, visit the Chapters page on the website.
  • If there isn’t a chapter currently at your school and you would like to know more about starting a Father’s Club chapter, visit the Contact page and fill out the form with your details and we will be in touch.

Mission Trail Middle School Dads Stepping up and Stepping In Mission Trail Middle School Dads Stepping up and Stepping In

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Mental Health and Wellbeing Essentials Workshops Update

Mental Health and Wellbeing Essentials Workshops UpdateBy Todd Milner, Director of Mental Health and Wellness/Board Member for Father’s Club

At the end of 2023, I announced a series of Mental Health and Well Being Essentials courses that would be offered in the first quarter of 2024. Father’s Club kicked off its 2024 Mental Health & Wellbeing Essentials workshops In January! 25 dads gathered to learn skills and be better equipped to talk about mental wellbeing with their families, their buddies, and their communities!

Our goal is to train 1,000 dads in 2024 and we have gotten off to a great start!

This course introduces and expands upon the fundamentals of mental health and well-being. Participants will gain an understanding of what impacts our mental health, common challenges, and the importance of emotional and psychological well-being. Men, in particular, often tend to disguise and quash issues related to their friends’ or their own mental health. Attendees will learn why this is an important topic to Father’s Club through presentation and group discussion. At the conclusion of the course, we will learn how we can all make a difference in our lives, at home and in our community.

An important element of the workshop is QPR (Question, Persuade & Refer)

QPR is a suicide prevention training for the participants to be able to recognize the warning signs of suicide by learning how to question, persuade, and refer people at risk for suicide for help.

Not only will the attendees leave the workshop better equipped to handle hard conversations, but they will take with them a 2-year QPR certification, a Father’s Club Challenge Medallion and a toolbox full of ways to help others struggling or in crisis find help, healing and resilience!

A main objective of the courses is to add Three simple things to each dad’s toolbox that allow them to help them to be intentional about their own mental wellbeing, as well as lead their families in learning how to be more resilient. Father’s Club’s Mental Health & Wellbeing Essentials Workshops teach and discuss very simple, but important rules of how to…

  1. Find Quiet Time – work on YOU! Unplug daily or Take inventory of what’s working and what’s not in YOU!
  2. Do something with your family each week! No phones, no complaining, no big family meeting, no Just find time to talk & LISTEN!
  3. Do something to impact others? Write a handwritten note to your kids, your spouse and those who need an encouraging word! Make a phone call or go grab coffee with someone who just needs someone to listen to them!

Take the Course!

Several courses have been scheduled in the first six months of this year, and several more are expected to be planned in the second half of the year. Signing up is very easy: Simply click on the Events page of the Father’s Club website, click on a Mental Health + Workshop event that is convenient for you, and register. There is a $40 fee that is requested in the application process to help defray expenses, which includes a light meal and some materials.

Don’t hesitate to take advantage of this exceptional opportunity to help you become aware of some simple tools that will make a huge difference in your life and the lives of your loved ones.

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Olathe East Update: Be more like Ferris Bueller, and less like Cameron Frye

By Tyler Cook – Chapter Chair at Olathe East High School for Father’s Club

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
– Ferris Bueller

Olathe Region - Back to School UpdateThis is one of my favorite quotes in the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and it’s also a quote I often forget amidst the daily decisions I make as a Dad.

Truth be told, I say ‘no thanks’ and ‘not today’ quite a bit, and I was originally reluctant to join Father’s Club. Why? Because I’m ‘busy.’ Busy with kids, busy working, busy with everything. I didn’t want to add another thing to my list, and I was apprehensive about joining a Father’s Club which I knew little about.

It took a nudge… (actually) several nudges to get me to where I am today.

  • The 1st nudge, was from my wife Amanda, reminding me that our kids are growing up fast and Father’s Club was a way to get more engaged.
  • The 2nd nudge, was an invite from my friend and neighbor Kevin Miller, to meet other Father’s Club Dads to watch a game and help plan an upcoming event.
  • The 3rd nudge, was from Ryan Kapple who literally steered me into the steering committee, to help run point on group communications.
  • The 4th nudge was from Mike Davisson who encouraged me to get more involved, supports me at every step, and continues to remind me of the true spirit of Father’s Club.
  • The 5th, 6th, and 7th nudges were from all the Father’s Club Dads around me (too many to list) that I’ve made friendships with. They continue to remind me why this is important for others as well as our own well-being.

Olathe East UpdateI’m thankful for all the nudges over the past three years. My hope is that more Dads act upon any nudges they’re feeling to get more involved, because big things are happening.

Big Things are Happening

Recently, I was headed to Olathe East High School for the first ‘Fist Bumps Friday’ of the year. It was an early morning in January, and the frigid weather wasn’t going to stop our Olathe East Dads from welcoming students back to school. On that dark drive to the school, I passed by California Trail Middle School and saw other Father’s Club dads preparing to welcome their kids back to school as well. A sense of joy washed over me, with the realization that we had Dads at two different schools working separately, yet united in the same mission.

For the average person, this might not seem like a big deal, but for me it felt special. Our presence and impact are growing in the community. To say it simply, I’m excited for the coming years because…

  • Our Kids Matter.
  • Our Schools Matter.
  • Our Community Matters.
  • Our Dads Matter.
  • What We’re Doing, Matters.

Olathe East UpdateFather’s Club has been a pleasant surprise in my life, and I wish I had acted on the nudges around me sooner. My hope is that more Dads are like Ferris Bueller and are grabbing life with intention to make every day count.

If you are ready to jump in and join, click here. If you have questions for your Chapter Chair, click here.

Hopefully this was the nudge you needed to get involved with Father’s Club!

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Halftime Entertainment – Olathe East and Olathe South Chapters

By Mike Davisson, Executive Director/Olathe Regional Director/Board Member for Father’s Club

Halftime Entertainment - Olathe East and Olathe South ChaptersOlathe East dads hosted Olathe South dads in a first ever shooting competition at halftime of the rivalry basketball game between these two Olathe high schools. In front of a packed house, four dads from each school had to complete a combined five layups, three free throws, two 3-pointers and a half court shot to become the winning team.

The prize? The winning team of dads earned pizza for their respective student section!

After a few missed layups and put backs, the Olathe East dads got hot and were able to hit the winning half court shot on their first attempt and edged out the Olathe South dads. It was an electric moment of KIDS going wild for Dads. Tyler Cook was quoted saying, “We (Father’s Club) are typically the ones cheering on our students, last night they cheered for us. That’s pretty awesome if you think about it.”

Olathe South Principal, Sean DeMaree, said this needs to become an annual tradition and looked forward to hosting the event at Olathe South next year.

The players, not wanting to be upstaged by the dads, played an excellent game. It was highlighted by two ties and three lead changes in the final two minutes of the game culminating with a Olathe East game winning put back of a missed shot as time expired.

Halftime Entertainment - Olathe East and Olathe South Chapters Halftime Entertainment - Olathe East and Olathe South Chapters

This. Was. Awesome.

Halftime Entertainment - Olathe East and Olathe South ChaptersThe comments from students, moms, dads and administrators from both schools were overwhelming positive. We were able to recruit some new dads and this was strong exposure for Father’s Club and our desire to be intentionally involved.

A special thank you to Father’s Club Chapter Chairs Tyler Cook and Brody Dorland for their organization and execution. Also, thanks to Olathe East Principal, Kerry Lane, and Athletic Director, Mike Wolgast, and their teams for partnering with Father’s Club and helping make this a great success!

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Behind the Scenes with Father’s Club Executive Director – Mike Davisson

Mike DavissonCan you provide a quick glimpse into what is happening behind the scenes with Father’s Club?

It would be impossible to provide a quick update, but I will try to provide some insight to specific questions. As you may know, we have been on a path of growth for some time and it was in October 2023 that I was hired as the Executive Director.  I first wanted to start with creating the right foundation to stand on moving forward.

Can you give us an example of some of those items?

We are currently working on updating our bylaws; making changes to our current Board of Directors; creating term limits; establishing committees; creating Brand Guidelines and a number of additional structural actions that are needed to move forward and accomodate growth. Additionally, we are having conversations with existing Chapter Chairs to discuss the health of their chapter; learn and share best practices and walk alongside them to become stronger and more sustainable moving forward.

I have heard that there is a need for improved communication throughout all levels of the organization. Can you speak about communication changes or enhancements that may be coming or that you are working on currently?

Honestly, this is an area where we have known we have to improve and have been attempting to do so for a while. We are actively working with a company to develop a communications platform. This platform is being developed with our specific needs and request in mind with mobile first and ease of use at its core.

We hope to be able to eliminate the need for multiple communication methods like GroupMe; Slack, Band; etc. and streamline our communication through a single resource that can be accessed via a mobile device, laptop; and/or desktop computer. We feel like once this is available, the ability to communicate and stay informed throughout the organization will be much better than any single chapter has been able to do on their own thus far.

Can you speak about your growth strategy or how you plan to start new chapters?

This is extremely exciting and humbling to see the number of people that are reaching out to inquire how to start a chapter at their school.

It begins with a conversation with a dad; that dad having conversations with other dads that may want to get involved and then a discussion with a Principal about Father’s Club and our mission. That simple process and structure has led to conversations to grow at the middle school level beyond the four Olathe middle schools that we are in today.

Additionally, there is a strong desire to bring Father’s Club to North Kansas City with as many as four high schools and four middle schools in the same district launching simultaneously as we begin the next school year.

We also have a scheduled meeting with our first Catholic high school and have even had conversations outside of Kansas City with dads and/or Principals from Wichita, KS; Franklin, TN; Cleveland, OH and Los Angeles, CA to name a few.

In 2018, we started with a single chapter at Blue Valley high school. Five years later, even with the interruption of Covid, we are in 25 schools.  There is a real possibility that we grow to as many as 40 chapters going into the 2024-2025 school year. This growth is likely to continue beyond Kansas City the following year.

I know you are also working on Mental Health & Wellness training for dads. Can you speak to that a little?

Yes. Thank you for mentioning that. We know that men are connected through technology more than ever before, yet they are also more isolated than ever before from a relationship perspective. It is our desire to share  statistics, trends, and real issues related to mental health and give dads tools to identify and address these in an intentional way.

We want to create an environment where men can be vulnerable and break open their chests a little to share what they are experiencing, and not surprisingly, men are finding that many other men are dealing with many of the same issues and challenges. We have conducted our first couple of training courses and have received great feedback.

Our ambitious goal is to train 1,000 dads by the end of the year. So, look for communication from your chapter chairs, emails or even our weekly blogs. We are also working to get these events added on our website at www.fathersclub.org/events so you can sign up and attend an upcoming workshop.

If dads or business leaders or donors want to learn more about Father’s Club or get more involved, how can they do so?

They can go to www.fathersclub.org to find out more about our organization. They can register and join by clicking on STEP ONE on the homepage and providing some basic contact information. They can click STEP TWO to see which schools currently have Father’s Club chapters and get contact information for their local Chapter Chair. They can also contact me via the Contact link where they can leave a question or comment along with their contact information and I will get back with them personally.

2024 is going to be a year of growth and impact for Father’s Club. We have a ton of dads pulling in the same direction, but we definitely need more support at every chapter, so please consider getting involved!

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Blue Valley West Father’s Club Shows Great School Support

By Dan Holdhusen, Grandfather of three graduates and one currently enrolled in Blue Valley High School

The Mission of the Father’s Club is expressed no better than by a group of hard-core dads at Blue Valley West (BVW) High School in Overland Park. BVW has had an incredible and active group of fathers that have been engaged in a number of activities and events as one of the first chapters formed since Father’s Club originated five years ago.

Blue Valley West Father’s Club Shows Great School Support Blue Valley West Father’s Club Shows Great School Support

What does it take to succeed?

A key catalyst of BVW’s success in living out the Father’s Club Mission in support of students, teachers and the greater community has been a constant stream of great leaders. The current leadership team consists of Clay Norkey, Kevin Saylan, Dan Viall, and Danny Mayer. As any outstanding leader understands, these four dads acknowledge they would be unable to accomplish anything without a multitude of dads who have been willing to step up for the good of the cause.

BVW’s leadership has capitalized on the energy and willingness of a large group of dads who have been willing to enthusiastically show up, roll up their sleeves, and, as the Father’s Club Mission Statement declares, “be intentional with their KIDS, with other DADS and within their COMMUNITY.” There is no better example of their intentionality than their sentinel activity to support school spirit and financial support: running the fall football concessions sales.

Father’s Club and football concessions!

Because all Father’s Club financial support is fund-raised, BVW must rely on donations and its own organized activities. A few years ago, the BVW’s chapter was asked by school administrators to assume the concessions sales for fall football games. Clay Norkey saw an opportunity to use this service to raise funds to help support the school. While other donations are used for dad-only activities such as social events and mental-health training, EVERY dollar raised by Father’s Club through concession sales is poured back into the school through a variety of Father’s Club initiatives and partnerships.

The Father’s Club just completed its fourth year of managing the concession sales. The first year occurred in 2020, when school activities were dramatically altered because of the COVID pandemic. Despite the challenges faced by BVW’s Father’s Club – with limited school attendance and restricted programming – the leaders solicited local donations of candy, snacks, and bottled water that they bundled into sacks and handed out to families as they arrived to watch their kids play. It was an attempt at normalcy in an abnormal world. The snack packs were free, but the fans responded with over $1,000 in donations!. The dad leaders knew that, despite that first challenging year, they were off to a great start.

The past three years of concession sales have been crisp, with sales increasing each year to help support BVW programs and events. In order for that to occur, it has taken a massive number of dads and an organizational effort that continues to grow and improve each year.

Blue Valley West Father’s Club Shows Great School Support Blue Valley West Father’s Club Shows Great School Support

The Nitty Gritty

Consider all the work and organization that goes on behind the scenes by West’s Father’s Club members to make this happen:

  • It takes 15-20 dads and sometimes their kids to staff the home concession booth for each BVW home game.
  • West’s Father’s Club also gives other school organizations the ability to raise funds for their own programs by staffing the visitor side stand, which mutually benefits the chapter by alleviating a staffing issue and the participating groups by providing a good return to fund their own initiatives. Cross Country, DECA, Debate, and the Dance Team have all stepped up so far, with others on a waiting list.
  • Volunteers are recruited through word-of-mouth, GroupMe, social media, the chapter’s email newsletter, school-wide principal emails, and announcements at other events. They use Sign Up Genius to ensure adequate coverage and many willing dads have enthusiastically come forward.
  • Enough volunteers are needed for each game for four “shifts” (pre-game prep a day or two before the event; set-up prep just prior to each game; first half through halftime; and halftime through final clean up.)
  • Many volunteers also “just show up” (a Father’s Club and BVW mantra). A lack of helping hands has never been an issue.
  • Dads often have their kids join in to assist with sales, which creates valuable and lasting memories for all. See this blog by Dan Viall, one of BVW’s leaders, which shares his heart-warming testimony of the bond it has created in his personal life with his daughter.
  • Sales inventory is, of course, not a small matter. A core group of dads coordinate, purchase, and deliver concessions for resale for each of the games.
  • The Father’s Club dads also collaborate closely with the school’s football staff who provide freshmen and sophomore players to use their muscle to move beverages and other inventory to where sales occur a day or two before each game.
  • In addition to the sales, the BVW dads distribute snacks to game officials and the flag crew during the halftime of each game, as well as complimentary sandwiches, snacks, and beverages to each official and key administrators following each contest.
  • The dads even established a new West tradition: The Hot Dog Toss! It’s a “signature moment” that has gained popularity at each game. The dads march down the track at the end of the third quarter and toss hot dogs and candy into the student section. The kids love it!
  • Procedures have been put into place that ensure proper handling and accountability of the proceeds before, during, and after each game. Funds are managed with top-notch integrity by the leadership team.

This is an abbreviated list of all the organization and effort by Father’s Club dads that goes into concession sales fundraising to support efforts and programs at Blue Valley West High School.

Blue Valley West Father's Club Shows Great School Support Blue Valley West Father’s Club Shows Great School Support

So, you ask, what is done with the funds raised by the BVW Father’s Club concession sales efforts? The answer: a plethora of remarkable things that support West’s students, teachers, and community, such as:

The Plethora of Remarkable Things

  • Leading numerous Fist Bump for Food (FB4F) events throughout the year to support the students, teachers, administrators, and others that are part of the BVW community. During a recent event, the Father’s Club handed out 1,000 donuts to encourage students during finals week.
  • Sponsoring teacher appreciation events such as faculty luncheons; an annual Faculty Family Night for teachers with burgers, dogs, snacks, and drinks during the spring sports-a-palooza when four or five events happen on campus at once; Morning coffees by bringing in baristas and portable coffeeshops for morning coffees, teacher and staff luncheons; and joining with the PTO to provide teacher-appreciation gifts.
  • Partnering with the Counseling Team to envision and dream up ways to support the work they do with and for the students.
  • Hosting The Jaguar Grill, where dads cook out, hang out, and play games with the students over extended lunch periods twice per year.
  • Awarding mental-health focused scholarships to deserving students who have demonstrated perseverance in the face of crisis and now share their stories in a way that increases awareness and reduces the stigma of mental-health issues, and engaged in other mental-health initiatives for improving, raising awareness, or reducing the stigma of mental-health issues. In 2023, a total of $2,500 in scholarships were awarded to five worthy graduates.
  • Hosting an annual informational night at the beginning of each school year (an event promoted by the school-wide newsletter, Jaguar Journal) to introduce new dads to the Father’s Club and suggest ways they can become involved. This year, fifty dads showed up!
  • Organizing and hosting other “social” events for dads throughout the school year to build camaraderie, connect with and support each other, and even discuss additional ideas of how the Father’s Club can produce innovative ideas or improve existing ways to build on and improve existing efforts.
  • Periodically meeting with school administrators and student leaders for mutual encouragement and to learn how Father’s Club can best serve the BVW community
  • And much, much more.

By being intentional in raising funds with its concession sales efforts and in a variety of other ways, the Blue Valley West chapter dads display the Father’s Club Core Values that have made its mission work vibrant and thrive. Awesome.

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