Valentine’s Day – Modeling love, respect, and partnership with your spouse and children.

By Mike Davisson, Executive Director/Olathe Regional Director for Father’s Club

Valentine’s Day is more than just a celebration of romantic love; it’s an opportunity for a husband to show his wife how much she means to him and to set an example for his children about how a man should treat a woman in a marriage. The way a man chooses to honor his wife on this special day not only strengthens his relationship with her but also lays the groundwork for teaching his children about love, respect, and partnership.

Here’s how a husband can show up for his wife and why this is such a critical teaching moment.

1. Plan Thoughtfully

The first step in creating a meaningful Valentine’s Day experience is thoughtful planning.

The effort a man puts into planning shows his wife that he values her and their relationship. This doesn’t necessarily mean an extravagant gesture—even simple plans can have a profound impact if they are made with intention.

For example, a husband might:

• Arrange for a babysitter so the two can enjoy a quiet dinner together.
• Prepare a home-cooked meal with her favorite dishes.
• Write her a heartfelt letter or card expressing gratitude and love.

When children observe this level of intentionality, they learn that thoughtfulness and effort are key elements of a loving relationship. They see that love isn’t just about words but about actions that reflect care and consideration.

2. Express Genuine Appreciation

Valentine’s Day is an excellent opportunity to express gratitude.

A husband should take the time to tell his wife how much he appreciates her—not just for what she does but for who she is. Whether through words, gifts, or acts of service, showing appreciation reinforces the bond between partners.

Imagine a father sitting his children down and saying, “I’m taking your mom out tonight because she’s so special to me. She works hard for our family, and I want to show her how much she means to us.” This kind of modeling teaches a daughter that she should expect appreciation and respect in her future relationships and models to a son how he should treat his future wife.

3. Prioritize Her Needs and Preferences

A husband should make the day about his wife’s preferences and desires.

What would make her feel loved and cherished? Maybe she loves flowers and chocolates, or perhaps she prefers experiences over material gifts. Listening to her needs and prioritizing her happiness shows selflessness and respect.

When children see their father going out of his way to prioritize their mother’s happiness, they learn the importance of empathy and attentiveness in a relationship. They grow up understanding that a good partner takes the time to understand and honor the needs of the other person.

4. Celebrate the Everyday Moments

Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be the only day a husband shows love and appreciation, but it can be a day to celebrate the small, everyday moments that make their relationship special. A man can reflect on and highlight these moments, reminding his wife of the joy and connection they share.

For instance, he could create a photo album of their favorite memories or write a list of “10 Things I Love About You.” These gestures emphasize the importance of cherishing the mundane as much as the extraordinary.

By demonstrating this attitude, a father sets an example for his children to appreciate the little things in life and to seek a partner who does the same.

5. Model Healthy Communication

Valentine’s Day can also be an opportunity to model healthy communication.

A husband might use the occasion to have an open and loving conversation about their relationship, discussing hopes, dreams, and ways to continue growing together.

When children witness their parents communicating openly and lovingly, they learn how to express their feelings and resolve conflicts in their own relationships. This is a vital skill that will serve them well in her future.

6. Show Respect and Teamwork

One of the most profound ways a man can honor his wife is by treating her as an equal partner.

This might mean sharing responsibilities at home or consulting her about plans for the day. Acts of respect and teamwork are essential in any marriage and demonstrating them on Valentine’s Day reinforces their importance.

Kids who see their parents working together as a team will internalize the value of partnership. They’ll understand that a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and shared effort.

7. Demonstrate Affection

Affection—whether through words, physical touch, or small acts of kindness—is an important part of any marriage.

On Valentine’s Day, a husband can make an extra effort to be affectionate, whether it’s by holding his wife’s hand, giving her a hug, or simply telling her, “I love you.”

When children observe this loving behavior, they learn that affection is a natural and healthy part of a marriage. They will grow up expecting and valuing warmth and kindness from their future partner.

8. Involve the Family

While Valentine’s Day is traditionally about couples, involving the whole family can make it even more special.

A husband could:

• Have his children help prepare a surprise for their mom.
• Share stories about how he and his wife met and fell in love.
• Include a family activity, like making Valentine’s crafts together.

By including the family, a man not only makes his wife feel loved but also teaches his children—especially his daughter—about the importance of celebrating love and togetherness.

9. Be Consistent Year-Round

While Valentine’s Day is a wonderful occasion to make grand gestures, the most impactful way to show up for a wife is through consistent love and respect all year. A single day of attention won’t mean much if it isn’t backed by daily acts of kindness and support.

Consistency teaches a daughter that love is not just about fleeting moments but about a steady, unwavering commitment. She’ll see that a healthy marriage is built on a foundation of reliability and trust.

The Long-Term Impact on a Daughter

When a man treats his wife with love and respect, especially on days like Valentine’s Day, he’s not just strengthening his marriage—he’s also shaping his children’s understanding of relationships. They learn to recognize the qualities of a good partner: kindness, thoughtfulness, respect, and empathy. They grow up with a clear picture of how partners deserve to be treated and what a healthy, loving relationship looks like.

Young women are often exposed to unhealthy relationship dynamics in media and society. A father’s example is a powerful counterbalance. By showing up for his wife, a man helps his daughter set high standards for her own relationships, ensuring she seeks out a partner who will treat her with the same love and respect.

Again, Valentine’s Day is more than just a celebration of romantic love; it’s an opportunity to model what a healthy, loving relationship looks like. When a husband shows up for his wife with thoughtfulness, appreciation, and respect, he strengthens their bond and sets a powerful example for his children.

Father’s Club is not about being perfect but about showing up with intentionality.  So be sure to show up for your wife for Valentine’s Day and model a loving relationship for your children!