Raymore-Peculiar East Middle School: Presence Vs. Presents

By Loren Jones, Chapter Chair at Raymore-Peculiar East Middle School for Father’s Club

Sometimes as a father, it can be challenging to see our value outside of being financial providers. In a digital world that’s constantly vying for our attention, giving ourselves the opportunity to be present in the moment is crucial to how our kids and communities see us. In fact, studies show a direct impact on kids’ self esteem, risk taking, and cognitive thinking.

Throughout almost every studied culture, the three main factors of fatherhood include: Protection, Providing, and Discipline. It’s time to add a 4th: Presence.

I have to admit… it seems unfair that moms seem to be expected to show up for everything. But when dads show up, it’s like the stars aligned for the day. But stop and think about that for a minute. When dad showed up, everything was “perfect”. As fathers, why shouldn’t we want things to be“perfect” more? This just goes to show you that kids prefer our presence not our presents.

Unfortunately, most men don’t make money off of our good looks.

We have to go out into the workforce and provide for our families. And we have to trust  that our families will understand that. But the nurturing side of us is equally as important. Being active and attentive has so many positive effects. In addition, being attentive also minimizes the negative things our kids may experience during their adolescent years. This includes substance abuse, teen pregnancy, and trouble with the law amongst other negative behaviors. Our attentiveness adds value to their education and other positive extracurricular activities our kids participate in.

So the next time you think, “Oh, I’ll stay at work another hour and make a little more money”, pause and make sure that’s the right sacrifice. Get involved in your kids’ lives and ask questions about how they’re doing. Get involved with Father’s Club at your school (or start a chapter if there isn’t one!) Seeing just one kid’s face light up because you showed up and gave them a moment of your time is worth every second.

To get involved with a Father’s Club chapter at your school, visit the Chapters page on our website. If there isn’t a chapter currently at your school and you would like to know more about starting a Father’s Club chapter, visit the Contact page and fill out the form with your details and we will be in touch!