California Trail Middle School Coffee Talks

By Steven Richmond, Chapter Co-Chair at California Trail Middle School for Father’s Club

It’s easy for dads to get caught up in the demands of work, family, and daily responsibilities. We often overlook the incredibly valuable practice of carving out small blocks of time to hit pause and meet with other dads living with the same demands to simply talk about life.

Meeting up at the local sports bar for an appetizer and a beverage is enjoyable, but the TVs and atmosphere can be distracting and take away from deeper, intentional conversation. Plus, between rushing home after work in time for dinner, kids’ sporting practices and events, nights can just be chaotic!

In January of this year, a group of six dads from California Trail Father’s Club began meeting every other week, in the morning at RevoCup Coffee, from 6:30 am to 8:30 am. Dads stop by before work or after dropping the kids off at school; and arrive and depart as their schedule permits. Since starting we have had more dads join us as we have learned the simple routine of grabbing a cup of coffee and spending time with other dads has helped enrich our mental wellbeing, personal growth, and family life.

Creating a Support Network

Fatherhood can feel isolated at times. Many dads find themselves navigating the challenges of parenting without a clear support system, especially when the demands of their career or personal life leave little room for connection. Meeting other dads regularly creates a powerful support network, where we can share experiences, frustrations, and triumphs. Just knowing other dads are walking a similar path and that we are not alone in the fatherhood journey is a huge boost.

Sure, we can talk about sports, but we have found most conversation in a more relaxed setting prompts dads to discuss common challenges like balancing work and home life, managing teenage independence, or simply trying to maintain a healthy relationship with our spouse. Having a group of dads who understand the nuances of fatherhood can make it easier to work through these hurdles.

Encouraging Mental and Emotional Well-Being

Society often places an emphasis on the idea that dads need to be stoic, strong, and unshakable. However, this can take a toll on mental wellbeing. Bottling up emotions or neglecting to talk about personal struggles can lead to stress, burnout, and even depression. When dads burn out, we risk becoming too passive or unengaged with our families. We must remember it’s OK to not be OK.

Coffee Talk provides an easy and welcoming space for dads to express their thoughts, process stress and frustrations, and feelings in a non-judgmental, open environment. Sharing the challenges we face in our day to day lives with a group of dads who “get it” help normalize discussions around mental and emotional well-being, something that is often neglected in conversations about fatherhood.

Learning from One Another

Each dad brings his own unique perspective and experiences to the table. Every dad has valuable lessons to share. These biweekly Coffee Talks provide an opportunity for dads to exchange parenting tips, life hacks, and advice based on their own trials and successes.

Perhaps one dad has found a creative way to manage time more effectively, while another has discovered strategies to communicate better with their kids. Learning from one another can help us dads feel more confident in our parenting abilities and provide fresh ideas for tackling life’s challenges.

Modeling Healthy Social Habits for Our Children

Our children are always watching us, and they learn by example. When they see us dads actively participating in healthy social practices—such as nurturing friendships, being open about feelings, and supporting one another—they absorb these behaviors. These Coffee Talks may help teach our children that it’s okay to lean on others for support and to engage in meaningful conversations about life.

Moreover, these social gatherings can help break the stereotype that men are solitary figures who don’t need to connect with others. By modeling positive social behaviors, dads can help pave the way for our children to prioritize relationships and communication throughout their lives.

Building Stronger Marriages and Family Lives

While the focus of these Coffee Talks is primarily on the dads themselves, the benefits extend to our marriages and family dynamics. Having a space to talk openly can help dads be more present and engaged at home. Sharing parenting tips and discussing relationship issues allows fathers to return to their families with a clearer sense of purpose, renewed energy, and fresh insights.

Additionally, when dads feel supported and understood in their personal lives, they are more likely to be emotionally available and present for their spouses and families. A happier, well-balanced father is better equipped to be an involved and loving husband and dad.

Time for Reflection and Personal Growth

The act of regularly stepping away from everyday responsibilities to reflect on one’s life is essential for personal growth. These biweekly Coffee Talks offer us dads the space to pause, reflect, and reassess our goals and priorities. Whether discussing career shifts, personal ambitions, or our evolving role as fathers, these conversations often help provide clarity and insight. Whether we are working on patience, self-care, or improving our relationships. These regular meetings allow us to track progress and hold ourselves accountable.

It’s Fun!

Let’s not forget the sheer joy of spending time with others who share similar interests and experiences. Coffee shop meetings offer a laid-back atmosphere, where dads can relax, enjoy a good cup of coffee, and talk about everything from the latest sports games to funny family anecdotes. These meetings don’t have to be all serious; they can also be a much-needed break from the hustle and bustle of life.

It’s More Than Just Coffee

Meeting every other week at a coffee shop is more than just a casual hangout—it’s an opportunity to build lasting friendships, grow personally, and enrich family life. Dads often feel pressure to juggle many roles. Consistent, routine meetups offer much-needed support and camaraderie. Whether it’s sharing parenting advice, talking about day-to-day stresses, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee, these gatherings serve as a powerful reminder that fatherhood, just like life itself, is better when shared.

Be intentional, reach out to other dads, invite them to meet individually or as a group for coffee. You might just find that a little time spent chatting over coffee can lead to lasting friendships and benefits for others, you, and your family.

• To get involved with a Father’s Club chapter at your school, visit the Chapters page on our website.
• If there isn’t a chapter currently at your school and you would like to know more about starting a Father’s Club chapter, visit the Contact page and fill out the form with your details and we will be in touch!